hello

we've finally got an internet connection at Dad's house which

means that I will be able to keep in touch with blogland while caring for him.

It'll make things a little easier for me to have a world outside work, cancer and caring.

I'm having a good lesson in how hard life can be.

It's hard to remember what my life was like before

and it feels like I wake up every day in a horrendous

bubble of disaster while normality seems to surround everyone else.

We are a small close family, dad has prostate cancer,

I have a thyroid problem which I've struggled with for years and

now I can't take the medicaton for it because it makes my heart go bonkers

and my lungs fill with fluid...if anyone has had similar problems I would be very

interested to hear from them. . On top of this, regular car, house, work

stresses sometimes seem like the last straw.

i see these paints and sometimes think i can paint my way through this nightmare.

sorry to offload

I know others have difficult lives too

and there must be plenty who experience much worse

i don't know how they survive.

i don't know how i will survive.

all i can think of is that if i do survive this ordeal

i will have learnt a lot about how hard life can be

and i'll be able to use my experience to help others.

it's good to be back here.

x